Heartaches and Heartbreaks, Lies and Deceptions.

That's all you ever gave me. I trusted you. At least i thought i did. But what's happened now? You break and shatter my heart into a million pieces. I can't piece it back. Are you happy now? You can watch me suffer and die even more inside each day. I'm such a stupid bitch. I should have seen the signs. Instead, i chose to ignore them. I chose to lead me into some kind of deluded world and i chose for you to break my heart. You made me promise to never break your heart and i did. Now what? You break mine. Were you just clinging onto me in case you can't get her. "Oh, Melissa will be waiting." Is that what you thought? I'm not some toy. I toy with my heart and tell me all these fucking words you dont even mean and then leave me on the shelf and move on to another girl. Did i ever do that to you? Did i ever go around liking other boys? What about you? You can stop denying. I have all the evidences i need. I guess everything i did wasn't enough. I sacrificed everything, even my own family for fuck's sake. because of you they all hate me. But did i care? No. Because i thought i had you. I thought that if i had u, nothing else would matter. I guess you never felt the same way. 3 months. Through it all, have you been lying? Was that 3 months a total waste of my fucking time? I guess maybe to you it was too long. I trusted you. But I can't anymore. I can forgive, but i can never forget. I'll always remember the tears i cried. What does she have that i don't? I know i'm not pretty, not smart, not hot, not perfect. but i gave you everything, i guess it was never enough for you. Whatever did i do to make you turn to that other girl?

"She has a boyfriend.
I don't want to ruin her happiness."

Right. So her happiness was more important than mine. Didn't you know you had a girlfriend? Were my feelings ever considered in this whole shit? I guess i never did matter. I'm never good enough. It's happened before. This isn't the first time. I'm such a fucking idiot. I always have been and always will be. To you, I'm just a toy, i'm just a game. It's so hard to look at you the same again. everytime i think of you, i think about the other girl. it feels like im just some third wheel. Everyone's telling me i deserve so much better. They've been telling me that since day 1. but i didnt care. they labelled me stupid. I guess they're right. Are you happy now? Through all these, i'm the one who gets hurt. Im the one who pays the fucking price. I should have listened to my mother. But no...im stupid. I didnt care what she said.

But now when i think about our relationship, i think about all the good memories. But why cant i think about the bad ones? You lied. You're a liar. But yet, i still love you. what the fuck is wrong with me? nothing's right anymore. you were the only thing that made me happy, but now i've come to realise the happiness was all fake.

I still love you. I don't have a reason why. I don't know if you feel the same way. I don't know anything anymore. I feel so cheated.

At the end of the day, I'm the stupid fucking girl. I'm just another girl on the chain of your girlfriends. but u were my first. the first cut is the deepest.

i cant stand this anymore. all i wanna do is get myself a coffin, bleed myself to death, and be buried. so i wouldnt have to face this world, this fucking life, anymore.

i love you so much, it hurts.

Come with me
Stay the night
Just say the words but boy it don't feel right
What do ya expect me to say (You know it's just too little too late)
You take my hand
And you say you've changed
But boy you know your begging don't fool me
Because to you it's just a game (You know it's just too little too late)

It's just too little too late
A little too long
And I can't wait
But you know all the right things to say (You know it's just too little too late)
You say you dream of my face
But you don't like me
You just like the chase
To be real
It doesn't matter anyway (You know it's just too little too late)

I was young
And in love
I gave you everything
But it wasn't enough

I can love with all of my heart, baby
I know I have so much to give (I have so much to give)
With a player like you I don't have a prayer
That's the way to live


iHATEyou, but still iLOVEyou.